Things you won't miss in the Apocalypse: #1

Presidential Campaigns

Every four years a new group of candidates come out of the woods and announce they are "running for the office of President of the United States of America." Sometimes they are substantive: Barrack Obama, Ronald Reagan, John F. Kennedy. Real candidates that stand for something besides the status quo.

Then there are the quirky: Ralph Nader, Ross Perot, Donald Trump, Bernie Sanders. All legitimate candidates but a bubble or two off of plumb. They talk a good talk; sometimes things they say make a lot of sense. But in the end...they flame out. (The jury is still out on Mr. Trump).

And then the true status quo: Jeb Bush, Ted Cruz, Hillary Clinton, John McCain. These folks offer nothing new. Just four (or sometimes eight) more years of what we already have. Bland, beige, boring.

What if that all went away?

Enter the Apocalypse (I call it The Darkness). Gone is all electricity and power; gone are all forms of mass communication (cell phones, Twitter, FaceBook, landlines, faxes). Travel is pretty much limited to foot, or a horse if you can find one.

Do you know what that means people? Think about it: No more debates, No more commercials, No more town hall meetings, No more sound bites. The end of the rhetoric...finally!

In the Darkness, we may not even have a President

Communities would be self-ruled. No need for someone (or many someones) a thousand or more miles away telling us what to do. Think they could help with the limited food supply after two months of Darkness? Doubt it. 

Our former leaders will be too busy hiding, all bunkered up in some fortified hole in the ground. Surrounded by decades of fresh food and water. They might even be chuckling as what's left of the citizenry scrounges to survive.

But we have the last laugh

No longer will we have to listen to these government types (they call themselves Civil Servants) beg for our votes. If the trains still ran (their computers were destroyed with the Darkness, so they don't) this new breed of candidate could do whistle-stop campaigns, ala Teddy Roosevelt.

But why? There'll be nothing left to rule. A formerly great country, in a formerly well-connected world, will be a shell of its former self. (And just so we're clear, the rest of the world will have the same Darkness to deal with).

We will all suffer

But at least we won't have to listen to these clowns anymore!


Until next time when we talk about not missing the recycling police,


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